Adjusting quit well...

Things are getting so much easier these days. Before our two month check up Hayden was literally eating round the clock. I was feeding him about every twenty minutes. He seemed to always be hungry. And when he wasnt eating he was crying. Needless to say it was really hard on my body and my emotions. He was attached to my hip all day and night and I was getting really frustrated with it. All that eating and he wasn't gaining enough weight. The doctor told us that we needed to start supplimenting with formula. At first I felt like I had failed. I felt like I was unable to supply my baby with what he needed to survive. I had my little mini break down which of course Tyler talked me through then I was over it. I couldnt help what was happening so I just had to let them happen. It turns out my breast milk wasnt fatty enough for my little one.

The second I gave him his first bottle of formula he was instantly happy. Now we go one and a half to two hours between feedings and even have three hours of consecutive sleep through the night. SOOO much better then it was before. I still breast feed him, the only difference is is that after he is done nursing then I give him the bottle. We now have a very, very happy baby!

Note: for some reason this post never published. Publishing a year later

One month old already...

I cant believe how fast the time has flown by. Our son is already a month old. He is pretty amazing if I do say so myself. He likes to be rocked and walked and hates sitting still. He refuses to be alone, even when he sleeps. He also eats literally around the clock. My doctor advised us to feed him once an hour so that he gains weight. So now my nipples pretty much feel like they are going to fall off. Needless to say, we introduced a bottle to our little boy. No formula though. I am pumping so that he only gets breast milk. He doesn't like it as much as the boob but he will take it if there is no other option. He really is Tyler's son ;)

No one ever tells you how hard breastfeeding is going to be. You kinda loose all independence. You are on call 24 hours a day. Now that we have the bottle I get to rest one feeding a day. Tyler likes being able to feed him during that one feeding. Hopefully my milk supply will increase so that I can pump more milk then I am currently able to pump. Some nights I just want to give up completely but somehow I push through and continue. It's pretty amazing how a mom can literally run on one hour of sleep. I really hope that it gets easier soon.

Hayden has grown up so much in the last month. He is far more alert and wide-eyed. He has always smiled in his sleep but just in the last few days he has begun to smile when he is awake. It is one of the cutest things I have ever seen. I love that he laughs in his sleep. I cant wait for him to laugh when awake.

This boy came out of the womb holding his head up and now he hardly needs any support what-so-ever on his neck. He is a pretty strong little boy. I cant wait to see what the next month brings!

Hayden is here!

I cant believe that our little boy is here. He was born on January 7th, 2012 at 9:18 pm. The birthing story will follow at a later date when I actually sit down and write it all out.

Our lives have changed so much since he has arrived. Every minute of every day is filled with our little Hayden. He consumes our lives in a good way. I absolutely love being a mom. It is everything that I hoped for and more. I am not saying that everything has been easy but the hard times are made up two fold by the good times. He is my little man.

Things that I love about not being pregnant:

• I am hungry again. I can actually eat and enjoy food without feeling sick. EVERYTHING tastes good again. Its pretty freakin' amazing.
• I can lay on my back again without feeling like a bowling ball is weighing down on all of my organs.
• I am myself again. Tyler tells me all the time that it is nice to have his wife back.
• My hormones are slowly going back to normal. I don't feel like crying every time I get a little upset. I absolutely love this.
• I can see my feet! And bend over! I always took these things for granted until I couldn't do them anymore.
• I can wear pants with buttons.
• I can take REALLY REALLY hot baths and showers.
• I can tie my shoes without having to take a deep breath before venturing to the floor.
• I get to hold my little baby in my arms all day, every day. This is my favorite part about not being pregnant anymore.

Every little aspect about being pregnant was so worth it the second I saw my little baby boy in all of his glory. I love him so much!

Getting myself ready for Hayden's arrival

I feel like I have done everything that I can in preparation for our son. His room is all set up and so is his bassinet. All of his cloths have been cleaned and the hospital bags have been packed. I have read more books on pregnancy, birthing and parenting then I would like to admit. And yet I know that there are going to be things that I could have never prepared for. I know that there are going to be many sleepless nights. I know that it is going to be hard to breast feed. I know these things and yet I don't think I could ever prepare myself for them without actually experiencing them. I'm pretty sure that Tyler and I will make it through just fine but as the day gets closer I am getting slightly nervous.

One thing that I have been thinking a lot about lately is the fact that my mom will not be in the room with me. She wont be there to call in the middle of the night when I have no idea what is wrong with Hayden. She wont be with me that first week home when I learn how to take care of the new born baby that I have had in my belly for the last nine months. I miss her all the time and I think that my pregnancy has been the hardest time without her. One of the great things about giving birth without my mom is that this will be the last huge hurdle that I will have to do without her. I don't think that things will get any easier but when she died I knew that giving birth was going to be the hardest thing that I have ever done without my mom. Now that it is almost here, I am almost done with the major life changes. Of course there will be purchasing my first home and things of that nature, but I don't think that anything will be like not having my mom in the room to guide me through my delivery of my first child. I think that I am as ready as I can be to do this without her.

Onto new topics. Things that I am really excited for:

• Being able to sleep on my back
• Eating black forest ham from Top Foods
• Being able to get off the couch/bed/toilet/floor without being out of breath
• Making it through the day without feeling like I am going to pass out due to exhaustion then not being able to fall asleep due to restless leg syndrome
• Being able to eat without feeling the need to throw up
• No more weird pregnancy dreams

I'm sure that there will be a lot more added to the list but right now those are the ones that I think about all the time!

Baby Hayden has been a movin' and a shakin' lately. I know that he is more than ready to come out. Even though he is smaller than he is supposed to be, I know that he is running out of room. I thought it was semi funny yesterday when my doctor told me that when I do kick counts at night that Hayden should be moving around 10 times in a 2 hour period. He moves 10 times in 5 min! I think that he is ok in that area :)

Last night I had a few contractions but nothing that notable. Weird delivery dreams are an every night occurrence now. I am so ready to go back to normal dreams. They are sometimes horrendously scary and I wake up crying and shaking. Tyler is so good to me. Every time this happens he wakes up and comforts me. I have the best husband ever!

38 weeks and counting

I really wish that I had blogged my whole pregnancy, but I guess this will just have to do for now. 

I can't believe that I am going to be a mom soon. Like any day now. I had a doctors appt. today where she checked the fluid and did a non-stress test. She also checked to see if I am dilated. Turns out I am! 1.5 centimeters! I know that really means nothing but it is kinda exciting that I am actually progressing. She told me that the fluid was at an 11 when the norm is 5, which is a very good thing. Also the non-stress test was perfect. We have been having some issues because little Hayden is small. His femur is 33 weeks while his head is 39 weeks according to the ultrasound last Tuesday. We have another ultrasound on Monday. Our doctor said that depending on what the ultrasound says, we may be able to induce as early as next week. I am sooooo stinkin' excited! We could be holding our little boy as early as next week! It really has been an emotional roller coaster these last few weeks. I am sooo very ready and I think that Hayden is too.

Hopefully he will just decide to come on his own. I have been having a lot of real not just Braxton hicks contractions, they are just not close enough together. Awwww I am going to become a mom!