Getting myself ready for Hayden's arrival

I feel like I have done everything that I can in preparation for our son. His room is all set up and so is his bassinet. All of his cloths have been cleaned and the hospital bags have been packed. I have read more books on pregnancy, birthing and parenting then I would like to admit. And yet I know that there are going to be things that I could have never prepared for. I know that there are going to be many sleepless nights. I know that it is going to be hard to breast feed. I know these things and yet I don't think I could ever prepare myself for them without actually experiencing them. I'm pretty sure that Tyler and I will make it through just fine but as the day gets closer I am getting slightly nervous.

One thing that I have been thinking a lot about lately is the fact that my mom will not be in the room with me. She wont be there to call in the middle of the night when I have no idea what is wrong with Hayden. She wont be with me that first week home when I learn how to take care of the new born baby that I have had in my belly for the last nine months. I miss her all the time and I think that my pregnancy has been the hardest time without her. One of the great things about giving birth without my mom is that this will be the last huge hurdle that I will have to do without her. I don't think that things will get any easier but when she died I knew that giving birth was going to be the hardest thing that I have ever done without my mom. Now that it is almost here, I am almost done with the major life changes. Of course there will be purchasing my first home and things of that nature, but I don't think that anything will be like not having my mom in the room to guide me through my delivery of my first child. I think that I am as ready as I can be to do this without her.

Onto new topics. Things that I am really excited for:

• Being able to sleep on my back
• Eating black forest ham from Top Foods
• Being able to get off the couch/bed/toilet/floor without being out of breath
• Making it through the day without feeling like I am going to pass out due to exhaustion then not being able to fall asleep due to restless leg syndrome
• Being able to eat without feeling the need to throw up
• No more weird pregnancy dreams

I'm sure that there will be a lot more added to the list but right now those are the ones that I think about all the time!

Baby Hayden has been a movin' and a shakin' lately. I know that he is more than ready to come out. Even though he is smaller than he is supposed to be, I know that he is running out of room. I thought it was semi funny yesterday when my doctor told me that when I do kick counts at night that Hayden should be moving around 10 times in a 2 hour period. He moves 10 times in 5 min! I think that he is ok in that area :)

Last night I had a few contractions but nothing that notable. Weird delivery dreams are an every night occurrence now. I am so ready to go back to normal dreams. They are sometimes horrendously scary and I wake up crying and shaking. Tyler is so good to me. Every time this happens he wakes up and comforts me. I have the best husband ever!